Regret — the painful emotion that follows a decision that did not work out — has a profound influence on future decision-making. It shapes risk tolerance, commitment depth, and even which options are considered. Understanding how regret operates — and using it constructively rather than being driven by it unconsciously — is one of the most sophisticated decision intelligence skills a young person can develop.
How Anticipated Regret Shapes Decisions
Research in decision psychology shows that people often make decisions based on which option will produce the least regret if it goes wrong — rather than which option has the highest expected value. This 'anticipated regret' can be a useful guide (it highlights decisions that feel genuinely important) or a distorting influence (it causes excessive risk-aversion or over-investment in 'safe' choices that carry their own costs). Understanding when regret is guiding well versus guiding poorly is essential for quality decision-making.
The Regret Minimisation Test
A useful exercise developed in decision research: project yourself to age 80 and look back at the decision you are making now. Which choice would you regret more not having taken — the bolder or the safer one? This test tends to favour action and risk-taking over inaction, because research consistently shows that people regret inactions and missed opportunities more than actions that did not work out. The losses from failing to try typically loom larger in retrospect than the losses from trying and failing.
People almost universally regret more what they did not do than what they did. This does not mean all risks are worth taking — it means that the cost of not trying is almost always higher than it feels in the moment of decision.
Processing Regret When It Arrives
When regret about a past decision arrives, the most constructive response is not to deny it (which prevents learning) or to dwell in it (which prevents forward movement), but to extract its information. What does this regret tell you about what you value that you did not yet fully know when you made the decision? What does it reveal about what you will prioritise differently in future decisions? Regret as a learning tool is genuinely valuable; regret as a perpetual emotional state is not.
Decision Intelligence is the structured process Lurnable uses to help students move from confusion to clarity. Learn more at the Decision Intelligence hub — covering PRISM™ self-discovery, the DECIDE Framework™, and what it means to work with a Chartered Decision Intelligence Advisor.